From X. Enriquez Community Liaison Officer Reality Patrol, Tal Sharnis Bureau To Yardley Murchinson Vice-President of Customer Relations Big H Development, Tal Sharnis Dear Mr. Murchinson, Regional Director Garza has asked me to extend to Big H Development his sincere thanks for the offer to assist in the construction of the new Reality Patrol facility at the ThingTown Abyss site. I regret to inform you that we must respectfully decline this offer. Reality Patrol policy prohibits us from employing local civilian populations in the construction of Reality Patrol facilities or equipment. The Reality Patrol does appreciate the show of assistance that Big H Development made by donating the pylon that was used to seal the ThingTown Abyss when it first manifested last year. However, the vulnerability of said pylon, as evidenced by its recent easy removal by a local domestic terrorist, merely serves to demonstrate why it is important that the Reality Patrol not come to rely on the work of local contractors whose methods and resources – while undeniably high-quality by the standards of this region – simply do not measure up to the standards and resources of the Reality Patrol. The current difficulty and inconvenience we are experiencing in the process recovering the pylon, due to the fact that it was not designed to be tracked with the same ease with which we can track our own equipment, further drives home this lesson and has served to convince the Regional Director and his staff that this bureau of the Reality Patrol would be best served by relying entirely on our own resources in the construction of our new facility and in all future matters. Thank you again for your time and your generous offer. Sincerely Yours, X. Enriquez Community Liaison Officer
This is the Reality Patrol’s response to the letter from Big H Development in Chapter 34.
Community Liaison Officer Enriquez is a fairly minor character in the Weird Luck Saga, but I like her. She’s in charge of the Reality Patrol’s relations with the civilian population of Tal Sharnis (and from the Reality Patrol’s perspective, a “civilian” is anyone who isn’t Reality Patrol). That’s a job that requires a superhuman degree of level-headedness.
See you next Wednesday,