As you can see from the number of this communiqué, this group has been prolific at producing and disseminating their propaganda: only a couple of months have passed since their initial manifesto. Copies of this leaflet appeared in the usual sites across Tal Sharnis (cafés, schools, galleries, concert halls). The following day, the Unravelers’ annotations appeared. There they were, on the paper, crowding the margins, in red ink like a teacher’s handwritten corrections – yet showing up out of nowhere simultaneously, identically, on apparently every single copy of the Guardians’ leaflet. I must note that despite my reservations about the Guardians and my distaste for certain of their positions, as I’ve gotten accustomed to the nuances of their ideas I can’t help but recognize that they put sincere thought into their worldview. I consistently disagree with them nearly every step of the way, from premise to conclusion. But their arguments are often well-crafted, and every once in a while I notice a lonely legitimate point. Regarding the Unravelers, I have to admit that I’m starting to grow weary and wary of them. Their harassment of the Guardians is often, frankly, distasteful. In this case, they not only subvert the very message directed at them, they rob the Guardians of their own platform for free self-expression. Is this the sort of world we are trying to protect, one where ideas are silenced simply for being seen as hateful? Worse, what sort of magic are we seeing here? Making words appear on hundreds of pages at once is presumably no small feat. How much harm are the Unravelers doing? Again we have no detectable trace in the aetheric plane of where these words came from. Quite the invisible Unravelers. How powerful are they? How dangerous is their witchery? Their very name suggests a threat to the all-too-vulnerable fabric of reality in Tal Sharnis…. – T.Q. Communiqué #19: Declaration of War by the True Guardians of Bifrost upon the Unravelers Curse-Coven [commentary by the Unravelers shown in brackets] DECLARATION OF WAR by the True Guardians of Bifrost, united under the implacable guidance of our LEADER, Lowell Osprey, upon the accursed Unraveler’s Curse Coven. [It’s punctuated “Unravelers Curse-Coven,” no big deal to us but we thought you guys fetishize “precision”?] Unravelers be DAMNED. You threaten us with curses? We laugh. You claim power beyond your reach. We defend ourselves with runes and courage and the honor of our lineage. [Um, about that lineage, see below.] Of course we uncovered the nasty little curse-object you left in our basement. Within an impenetrable protective square we “unraveled” the red cloth bindings, loosing the carven bone. We carved counter-runes across all your runes, ground your bone to powder, burned the red rags. Thus have we thwarted your efforts. [Yeah that was the decoy. The real ones are hidden way better than that. We figured you’d destroy the bone and cloth more or less that way, so we set it up to release a little bonus curse on anyone in that “protective” square of yours. By the way that bone was a tarsal from Osprey’s own great-grandmother, we got it out of her mausoleum in Piedmont Cemetery.] [So have the stomachaches and sniffles begun? Or just the worry worry worry? You must admit it, at least to yourself: you keep thinking about us, don’t you. We never quite leave the back of your mind.] BUT repeatedly you presume to harass us. Your snide “open letter” and other statements. Your insults and pranks. No more. [Well, say what you will, but it’s happening again right now, I’m afraid, in this very sentence.] We defy you. We will drive you from our sphere. [“Drive? Nothing like a motor ride to relax one. Through winding roads, past green meadows, down shady lanes...”] HEREBY we declare TOTAL WAR upon your petty clique of incompetents. WAR on both the material dimension and the spiritual dimension. Our magic protects us from any magical assault [“any”], and guards us against bullets and spirits. [Bullets, eh?] Our magic will empower us to assail you with bad luck and hellfire the likes of which you have never seen. [Oh, honey. You’re not still talking about Loki, are you? I read him your manifesto the other day and he hated it so much he smashed a pint glass on the floor. I told him he’s got little complaint coming when it comes to having his name taken in vain, and he 86’d me for a week, so fuck you for inadvertently causing that by the way. But he’s never going to hurt us worse than that.] We shall cast you against the unbreakable rock of our collective will. [We look forward to watching you squirm as our sequence of curses continues to unfold, haha.] Hail Osprey! Hail Victory! [“Heil! Heil! Right in der führer’s face.”] Printed using the Traditional letter-press in the print shop at the True True Guardians’ fortress, The Great American Hall. [Again not as a matter of prescriptive grammar but of aesthetics, don’t you think the inflation of “tradition” with a capital “T” is a bit… forced?]
That’s some epic trolling by the Unravelers Curse-Coven.
And no, it’s not a good sign at all that Thas thinks the arguments of the Guardians are “well-crafted” and contain any “legitimate” points.
Back before the cataclysmic Great Merger, the “Great American Hall” that the Guardians are currently using as their “fortress” was once the noted San Francisco live music venue known as The Great American Music Hall.
Oh, and that strange bit where the commenter from the Unravelers Curse-Coven talks about reading the Guardians’ manifesto to Loki, and Loki smashing a pint glass and whatnot? If you’ve got no idea what the commenter is babbling about, this snippet of ancient Weird Luck history might provide a hint or two…
See you next Wednesday,