Two-sided letterpress handbill found tacked to the community bulletin board in The Old Witch, a cafe on the fringes of Wolf Town frequented by adherents of various countercultural trends. Upon investigation, I discovered that copies of it had appeared in a number of different locations, including the mailboxes and bulletin boards of various fringe political and religious groups and their hangouts. Allegedly, review of surveillance cameras and aetheric footprints/fingerprints revealed nothing; and the pages themselves have no physical fingerprints. I myself am unable to pick up any meaningful traces, via divination or Aetheric Detector, on the copy I took from The Old Witch. Whoever the Unravelers Curse-Coven may be, and whatever portion of their assertions may be mere bombast, they do seem to have real ability to cover their tracks. — T.Q. Dear so-called True Guardians of Bifrost, Our curse is laid upon you. This is not a figure of speech. You’ve been cursed. We tell you not as a courtesy, but to add an additional discomfort to whatever may befall you. We leave this fate unspecified not because we lack the power to assign it to you (for we have), but to further increase your discomfort. You will see what happens to you when it happens to you and you will not like it. Nothing can stop our curse. Even if you find and remove the fetish we hid on the premises of your headquarters, our curse has been laid. We eagerly await your inevitable embarrassing ignominious downfall. Till then we relish your anxiety. Try to comfort one another with claims that we are powerless; that there is not Unraveling Man, and/or that He shows us no favor; or that we have no power not even hedge magic. You will tell yourselves this. It is inevitable. Meanwhile, worry that every stomachache or sniffle is a plague from us. Or, that your own core members include Reality Patrol informants.* Or that your own magicks are set to backfire. Meanwhile worry. Worry. Worry. You know not what nor when nor where, nor even who shall be the agents of your undoing. Doom comes for you and naught but dread for you till it arrives, amen. Meanwhile however also we cannot resist the easy opportunity to add insult to injury. We read your little manifesto. What a silly little document. We’ll excuse the self-importance, the bombastic language, the pretentious anonymous editorial “we,” all things we are equally guilty of and about which we do not give a fig. But the content; hoo boy. We don’t aim to debate here. This is just ridicule of a ridiculous tract. Ok granted that, under the most outlandish yet hypothetically physically possible of eventualities, e.g., the True Guardians of Bifrost wrest control of the Reality Patrol**, yes it could be possible for “humans” to monopolize access to the portals of Tal Sharnis. (To the extent anyone could control this, which is limited by the instability of our frayed reality itself. Another reason your ideology, like so many, is a classic laughable mismatch with objective reality.) But to presume that a sorting of Earthling from Amarantean is even possible… ludicrous. Even setting aside the odious nonsense of your eugenical pseudoscience, the epistemological flaws of your concept of “human,” the biological indeterminacy of a population that’s interbred freely for generations – how do you propose to sort out Amarantean blood quanta? Divination?*** Which brings us to the delightful topic of your magic. As always we like to set things aside. So setting aside the question of whether you people have any capability for magic…. Your proposed mode of engagement is so hilariously out of step with your nature – and is of a sort whose ill effects are likely to be amplified by that very sort of out-of-step-ness – that the likelihood of you bringing strife upon yourselves is all but certain. Why in the names of a thousand gods would an ultra-authoritarian organization call upon Loki? How can this not backfire? Your inanity is jaw-dropping. We can only watch and laugh. We do not claim to speak for Loki, though He and the Unraveling Man are arguably cognate entities. Sort of. That kind of oversimplification seems more your line though. And although we happen to be acquainted with Loki socially, we cannot claim special knowledge of just how he will respond to your nonsense. But here’s a freebie. We will tell you one thing. We’re so sure your shit will backfire, no matter how “prepared” you are, our curse has not targeted your magic. We leave you to hoist yourselves with that petard on your own. Our curse lurks elsewhere. Mind your sniffles and stomachaches. And trust none even of your own inner circle. Harm is coming. Sincerely, The Unravelers Curse-Coven * Why specify Reality Patrol instead of Monster Hunters? Despite their interest in keeping breaches shut and preventing interdimensional travel, the True Guardians of Bifrost seem to be very focused on power struggles within the local milieu, not aspiring to do things that would warrant our intervention. Do the Unravelers know something about the plans of the T.G.O.B. that we should know about? Will try to identify Unravelers and ascertain. – T.Q. ** Presumably this is hypberbole or even satire, but it is startling nonetheless. I also assume, if the T.G.O.B. had any point of contact with the Reality Patrol, it would have been identified by someone other than me, and would already be under surveillance by at least a full Special Agent, no? Please advise – T.Q. *** Obviously by measuring the various genes associated with Amarantean and Terran phenotypes, no? An odd oversight for the author to make. – T.Q.
If there’s one thing that livens up urban life more than public feuds between radical underground fringe groups, it’s public feuds between radical underground fringe groups armed with magic.
See you next Wednesday,